A River of Tears

When Eric Clapton was paralyzed with grief, he wrote the song “River of Tears”:

All I know is since you've been gone I feel like I'm drowning in a river, Drowning in a river of tears. Drowning in a river. Feel like I'm drowning, Drowning in a river.

Mary Magdalene could’ve written those lines. After Christ’s death she was overcome with doubts and overwhelmed with sorrow. Rather than drive to Party City to pick up kazoos, balloons, and confetti to celebrate the resurrection of Christ on the third day, she visits his tomb to see his dead body, rather than see that he is risen. Doubting Jesus’ prediction of his own resurrection is clouding her soul.

She is also overwhelmed with grief. Jesus didn’t run from her when she had seven demons, but he ran to her to help her. When no other man would, he showed genuine concern, compassion, loyalty, and love to her- no matter how bruised and broken, dirty and destitute, sinful and sorrowful she was. Because Jesus had forgiven her much, she loved him, much. Her depth of sorrow in John 20 is a direct correlation of her depth of love for him. But now he’s gone forever. At least that’s what she thinks.

If you were writing the story, what would Jesus do when he shattered death and rose victoriously from the grave? If you’re on the sentimental side, maybe you’d write that he spent a whole day in prayer with his Father, while songbirds chirped and flowers bloomed all around him. If you’re more on the sports side of things you might write that he entered the galactic arena giving everyone high fives while the crowd cheered. Or, if you’re on the revenge side like me, you’d have him show up at Pilate’s door step, break the cross in half across his knee like Bo Jackson did with his bat, and tell him, “Hey Pilate, how ‘bout them apples?!”

But we’re not writing the story. God wrote the story. In this story, the absolutely first thing Jesus does when he victoriously conquers the grave is pursue a brokenhearted woman overwhelmed with grief at the loss of her friend and Savior.

Jesus speaks her name. The Good Shepherd is calling his precious sheep by name. But what do you think his tone of voice was as he said her name? The agitation of a long sigh? The growl of frustration over a follower who didn’t believe his predictions of resurrection? Or the authoritative condemnation of a woman who was clearly not worthy of being part of such a powerful kingdom? These are not his tone. These are not his heart.

His tone, I believe, is hinted at in the Psalms. God draws near the brokenhearted, and saves the crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:18). His tone is gentle, inquisitive, personal.

"Mary."

Blessed are those who mourn…for they shall be comforted. Mary, your Savior is here. He is alive. He is risen. And he is calling you by name.

Clapton’s song ends with a hope that some day his grief will end:

… Still I catch myself thinking, One day I'll find my way back here. You'll save me from drowning, Drowning in a river, Drowning in a river of tears.

Jesus saved Mary from drowning in a river of tears. He spoke her name. He changed her life. (John 20)

Do you hear the risen Savior calling you by name?